Not So American Dream
Back in the days, your army days
Back in her nurse days
A classic marriage story
A good old American boy and his girl
Lookin’ for that American dream
You always said we were the people you fought for
Our freedom, our lives
But you couldn’t save her from everything
Couldn’t keep us safe from her cancer
Couldn’t keep me safe from your own anger
I’ve heard your drunken words of how you wished you died
Wish you never made it back home to watch her die
Wish you never had a son
Is this the American Dream?
Living in a broken down apartment
Drinking your problems away
Is this what you fought for?
Sweetest Story You Ever Heard
A born son, more important than the sun,
At the time, now a burden
Bring him back to a beautiful home filled with hope
Baby blue walls, crib, a stimulating Eden
Growin up in a loving home
Hope grew, he was sure to make a name for him self
His parents, oh so very proud of their smart little boy
But everything must come to an end
18 years old, his mother dies, might as well leave him on the street
Drunken father, broken house, his Eden dead and gone
The picture of his mother
His only hope left, his only comfort
He joins the Marines, harder than his father
Thought hed seen ugly
His old life seems like heaven
Pride takes the place of hope
Determination causes his achievement
He grows stronger, becomes his own man
Drunken father wont hold him down no more
Unstable Arc
Your mistakes put your heart through the floor
Put you up to your neck in an ocean of regret and guilt
Two things you’ll never show
The arc you built didn’t last like Noah’s
Nothing built on lies ever does
The only thing you were ever good at was placing the blame on someone else
But I wont be your scapegoat
You may be Hitler, but I wont give you the satisfaction
Ive never seen another with a father like you
I can’t be perfect, no one can
Your expectations will have to wait
Back when mom was around, things were less stressful
Life was a breeze, but too strong, it carried the structure of my life away
Shes Not Coming Home
Home aint where the heart is
No it sure aint
With a drunken father
And no brother, no mother
Love isn’t to be felt, not by him nor me
Just a longing, a longing for something we cant have
My accomplishments were never enough to satisfy
The man who owns the only life ive known
But he cant, wont own me anymore
Mother who watches over, what can I do?
I cant stay here, not with this much hate felt
He’s falling off, becoming less a man each day
But not a man at all since he’s lost you
Since I’ve lost you
“She’s gone” I yell at him drunkenly waiting by the door
As if you’ll come walking through
Missing for all these years
I tell him, father, she’s not coming home
But he hates me all the more for it
Those harsh years have made him less alive than you
In my heart anyway
Loved Ones Lost
Tell me what its like, to lose something important
I cant feel, cant feel the loss
I died with her, it was clear
But so did you, you lost everything when you lost her
Love, compassion, happiness
Your miracle son meant nothing when your wife was gone
Just a burden you would love to shun
Cast me out, shut me out like you did to everyone else
A family with a mother lost
So this is what its like,
to lose something or everything.
I have nothing
The Easy Way Out
Living life without family can’t be done
Everyone needs a heart
But home ain’t where the heart is
Its just as empty as my father
Where does a lost kid wonder
When all but anger is missing
A dangerous bit a kid can do
When all is hopeless
Broken windows, robbed stores
A lost, a bored kid can do a lot of bad
Just to feel something besides hate
Wonder what wed accomplish
If we joined together
Make a family, out of brothers
No need for a mother, don’t even bother with a father
Drunken Father
Back when you were slowly dying
I felt my life fall apart
My heart was broken, into pieces
I had no idea
My life is shattered
Nothing left
No one knows my grief
The love I once felt
Turned to hate for everything
The only thing I feel is the belt
As it hits against me
A drunken father, filled with hate
A lost mother, six feet under
No one left but me
SHARK!
An old man, drowning in his guilt and regret
Shark infested water
His ship has sunk
his lies couldn’t keep him afloat any longer
Now the sharks, his mistakes, they eat away at him
If he was smart, or honorable, he would have gone down with his ship
But hes always been a coward
As I watch him tear himself to shreds
I realize how hes never been
A good role model
Always drinking, his pain away
Never facing his fears
But I don’t need a role model,
I know enough to not end up like him
Build my life on confidence
Not going down like my old man
